Jolly Green Giant and Son
by AvaWA
Summary: One-shots, prompts, and requests of Daddy!Bruce and Son!Peter, based off of my story, Spidey Boy and the Jolly Green Giant. Rating may vary within each chapter. pairings: The Cold War, Pepperony, Clint/OC, Thorane, PHill, Daddy!Bruce, possible Bruce/OC Peter/? PLEASE REQUEST THROUGH PRIVATE MESSAGING!
1. Chapter 1

**1.**

**Bruce is at a coffee shop with Peter before they head back to the Tower. Peter watches as Bruce makes eye-contact with a pretty brunette woman across the way, and goads him into asking her out.**

**Challenge accepted.**

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><p>"Order up!" Bruce waited impatiently in a comfy chair as he watched people get their drinks. Peter had gone to go grab their coffees, and Bruce just hoped that the seventeen-year-old boy hadn't notice his nervous behavior. Who was he kidding, though? The boy <em>always<em> knew when something was up: something about his spider-sense picking up on imminent danger, and, unfortunately for Bruce, his dad's mood.

Tomorrow was Peter's birthday and, every year, Bruce tried to do something for him. He had adopted Peter after finding him an orphan in Turkey. The boy's whole family had died before he was even 4, yet the teenager was still a bright, upstanding young man. Besides, as Peter would say, he had a new family: the Avengers.

This year was no different. This very moment at the Tower, the whole team was waiting for Peter to get back to surprise him with his surprise party. The Fantastic Four, many of their X-Men friends, and even some of Peter's classmates were joining them. Bruce smiled at the thought.

As Bruce scanned the room for what felt like the 5th time, something- or someone- caught his eye. A woman sat not that far away, alone at a small table with her glasses flashing, an old-looking book in hand, and her hot tea steaming nicely.

The woman wore a pretty, vintage summer dress with an olive and smoky blue pattern on it. It was so strange to see her sitting smartly in a vintage 50s dress, bright red lipstick, and crossed ankles when her background was grungy college kids and Wall Street yuppies with their high-tech tablets and phones.

Bruce didn't really care, though, because she was the most beautiful girl he had ever had the privilege to see. Bruce felt his Adam's Apple drop, and a cold sweat break on his brow. _What the hell was wrong with him? _He didn't get a chance to answer that as Peter sat down with their two coffees, looking tousled and slightly surprised. The boy's appearance cleared his father's head for the moment as he looked curiously at Peter's appearance.

"This coffee joint is crazy. I had to shove my way to the front just to get the coffees. People are crazy," Peter grimaced, grabbing a napkin, "I think I must've gotten burned. Some guy spilled his coffee _all over_ my hand."

"Are you alright? Let me see?" Bruce immediately went into dad mode, grabbing his glasses to examine the boy's hand better.

However, Peter pulled his hand back, "Dad, it's alright. I was exaggerating," Peter gave Bruce a weird look, "Are you alright? You've been kind of... all over the place today. Is everything alright?"

Bruce looked up, blushing, "Yeah, of course. I just, uh..." Bruce's eyes trailed over to the woman once more. His thoughts were all jumbled, what with the secret of the party, and the woman...

Peter had followed his line of site to the woman, and turned back around, smiling broadly.

"What are you staring at, Dad?" Peter said playfully, smirking, "With a look like that, you better be dating her, or else you're an old, pervert."

Bruce's head flipped around, his cheeks blazing, "No, no, it's not like that-" Peter started laughing, "Peter, quiet down a bit, will you? We're in a public place."

Peter did his best to muffle his chuckles, and stared his old man down, "Sorry. I've just never seen you this taken by a woman before. Ever."

"Yes, I've never really had time for women. You were quite the handful, even from the beginning."

Peter smiled, but then frowned. _Had he really been such a handful for his dad to never get a date? Was that really his fault?_

Bruce read his expression, "Oh, Peter, I'm not saying that its your fault. No, I've just never had time, what with my job and you, and the fact that I'm extremely..."

Bruce searched for the word before Peter offered, "Shy?"

Frowning, Bruce replied, "I was going to say introverted."

Peter smirked, "Well, that's too bad, cause she's looking your way."

Peter snorted as Bruce turned a cherry red and ducked his head. Before either of them could say anything more, the woman gathered her things, and left quickly. Bruce frowned and sighed, "Oh well, I guess it wasn't meant to be."

One of the busboys came over to the father and son, "Excuse me, sirs? The lady that was sitting over there left a note for you," the man handed Bruce the note, who thanked the boy, and then turned back to Peter.

Peter was leaning back in his comfy chair, his arms crossed and the biggest grin on his face.

Bruce chuckled, finally giving in, "Alright, alright. Do you want me to read it out loud?"

Peter leaned forward, nodding, so very much the same little boy Bruce had been reading bedtime stories to for years.

Bruce shined his glasses with the edge of his shirt a moment before clearing his throat, "_To the man in the purple dress shirt sitting by the fire,_

_I saw you looking at me. Careful, somebody might think you're a dirty, perverted old man or something. 847-3856 Call me_," By the end of the note, Peter was holding his sides in mirth.

Bruce chuffed in appreciation. _A dirty, old man, huh? Well, then._

Bruce got up, helping the limp Peter out of his chair, and trapping his boy in a headlock, "You think that's funny, huh? Well, let's see how funny it is when I tell Uncle Clint that it was you that put his favorite bow in Jell-o. What do you think of that," Bruce tickled Peter under the ribs, causing the boy to wiggle and wheeze in a fit of giggles. The other occupants of the shop were giving them looks, but Bruce didn't care. Peter was used to be teased; although he was stronger than Bruce in Bruce's not-Hulk form, when Peter was tickled, he was as limp and weak as a rubber doll. This was discovered when he was still little, and had been used against him for years.

Bruce released him when Peter breathlessly giggled out, "Uncle!" and the two gathered their things, walking out of the shop with smiles on their faces. Peter started telling Bruce about his newest personal project and Bruce smiled, thinking how lucky a father he was.

Today had been a good day, and tonight's party would be great fun, but before Bruce relinquished his boy to the Avengers for the night, he would enjoy this little moment, just talking with his teenage son.


	2. Quick Survey

** I am about to post a new chapter in the coming week. It WILL be graphic, sorry. Self-harm, anorexia, etc.**

** To help me out, I really need you guys to help me answer this question:**

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><p><strong> "WHY CAN'T ONE FAMILY MEMBER BE ANOTHER'S THERAPIST?" (and remember, this isn't a personal question, but instead, it'll help with my chapter and the characters!:<strong>

** A) They can't, because their opinions would conflict. They might also get offended by the patient's thoughts and feelings about their family, and the patient would never be able to be honest about what's truly bothering them.**

** B) They can't, because they may sympathize with their patient if he/she admits to a crime.**

** C) They can, but need to be a distant relative so as not to create conflict.**

** D) They can, if they are properly trained, and are on an intimate (and I don't mean sexual) level with their patient.**

** E) A&B**

** F)C&D**

** G)Your own idea.**

**I'd love some feedback, and the best answer will (obviously) be mentioned in that chapter, so everyone can see where I truly get my inspiration- you guys!**


	3. Moulting Spider Puberty

**Ok, so this was a prompt from one of my favorite fellow writers, Just Watch Me Fly.**

** Their prompt was: 1. Peter hitting teenage years and his powers going haywire, chaos ensues.**

**It didn't _exactly_ create chaos, but I though it was pretty interesting. Auh, the joys of puberty... Enjoy them, readers! Bask in the glory... of 12 year-old Peter hitting puberty, Spidey style!**

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><p>"AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!" Bruce shot awake, nearly tumbling out of bed as he rushed to go to Peter.<p>

The boy's screams kept up as Bruce tripped over furniture, almost going green with anger over the thought of not being able to protect his son.

When Bruce finally reached the boy's room, he was flabbergasted by what he saw. There sat his 12 year-old son on top of bunk bed, and on the floor, a…

Bruce frowned, as he panted from the adrenaline rush. There, on the floor was a… carcass? No, it was a… shell, in the shape of Peter sleeping. Looking up at Peter, tears running down the boy's horrified face, Bruce covered his mouth… and snorted.

After a few quiet chortles, Peter looked up at him as if he had two heads. How could his own father be laughing at that… thing on the floor?!

Looking back at Peter's confused expression, Bruce lost it. The man fell to the floor, laughing so hard, Peter was sure the grown-man was about to pee himself. By this time, JARVIS had woken Tony, as it seemed a foreign object had induced elevated epinephrine hormones in Master Peter, and Dr. Banner was currently incapacitated on the floor.

Just as Bruce had started making a choking sound, Tony walked in.

"Good lord, Bruce, what the hell happen-?" Tony croaked out before stopping in Peter's doorway, "What the **hell** is that?"

By now, Peter had become too annoyed to be sufficiently terrified by the thing, and had gotten down, skimming around it.

Tony helped the red-faced Bruce sit up, and handed him a water bottle from Peter's mini fridge. The boy only kept water in it, which was strange as he was an obsessive soda drinker.

When Bruce could finally breathe properly, he was light-headed, and thinking he might have over done it with the laughter, but it couldn't have been helped. Bruce led the two to his labs, pulling up the research he'd been doing recently.

Tony and Peter pestered Bruce with questions about what the heck was going on but the man was inconsolable. Obviously, he must have gone insane.

Bruce finally took in one breath and cleared his giggles, "I'm so sorry. I really am. It's not really that funny, but…" He snickered, before drinking more water to cool him down, "Tony, Peter's just hit puberty.

Tony and Peter both cocked their head in such a similar way, that Bruce started to laugh again. Tony wacked his best friend upside the head, and he shut up quickly, turning back to pull up some documents.

"I've been looking into it best I can to see what to expect. Peter, have you heard about puberty at school yet?" Bruce looked warily at Peter, a little nervous about having the Talk at 3 in the morning with Tony adding his two cents.

"Yeah," Peter admitted huffily, still grumpy and confused. And a little hurt too. He was scared out of his wits, and his Dad just laughed at him.

Bruce frowned, saying, "Peter, I'm sorry. That was really insensitive of me to laugh like that. But it really isn't anything to worry about," When they boy still wouldn't answer him, instead looking glumly at the floor, Bruce gestured for the boy to join him up on a stool. Although Peter had his own lab of sorts closer to his room, he rarely got to join his dad in the bigger lab, so he quickly joined the older man up on the stools. Tony joined, standing behind Peter like a protective shield.

Bruce then pointed to the screen. I expect that, along with our little friend on your bedroom floor, you're about to get a few other unexpected surprises as well. And they aren't all that pleasant," Bruce grimaced while Tony smirked.

"W-what do you mean?" Peter asked innocently confused. He was still so small and young, so much the little boy Bruce had found in Turkey who had trustingly taken the hand of a total stranger.

"Well, along with what you've learned in class, you'll also start having spider puberty," this time, even Tony looked confused.

"Are you saying Peter's going to grow another set of arms and legs or something?!" Peter's eyes widened in alarm at the thought.

"No, no! Shut up, Tony, you're not helping. No, but we may be seeing a few more of those shell things soon. I don't know how that's even possible but…" Bruce turned back to the holo-screen, thinking.

"Spit it out, Brucey. I'd like to get some sleep tonight," Tony said, sighing dramatically.

Bruce sighed, "While spiders mature, they go through a moulting season. Because spiders' skeletal frame is on the outside, as arachnids have exoskeletons, they have to have a way of growing larger. They can't be born the size they are, that'd be absurd. Well, instead, they fill the inside of the bodies with a type of fluid before popping off the previous skeleton and growing the new one. I really don't understand why this happened to you, though, Peter. You don't have an exoskeleton, neither do you need to go through this process. It's like a weird… side-effect of cross-species genetics…" Bruce and Tony started to discuss the possible implications when they were suddenly stuck to the table. Peter yelped before running over.

"I'm so sorry! I really am, I didn't mean it, honest, I was just looking the other way and they went off!" Peter had apparently webbed his dad and uncle.

Half an hour later and many broken wire cutters later, and the two men were still picking webbing out of their hair. After having given up on his hair for the most part, Bruce had turned to look more closely at Peter's wrists.

Bruce had to marvel once more at the beauty of his son's cross-species physical changes. On both the boy's wrists were two small bumps, hiding a complex system of natural webshooters underneath the skin of the boy's wrists. Bruce had seen this so many times but he never tired of how amazing his son was. He was sure no father could be more proud.

"Malfunctioning webshooters might also be a side-effect. I'm going to need you to wrap your wrists up every morning before school, alright Peter?" Bruce knelt down in front of his son, giving him a this-means-business face.

Peter scowled, "But the kids'll think I'm weird, erh, weirder than I already am…"

Bruce frowned; he knew that the kids at school picked on Peter for living at Stark Tower, because who wouldn't be jealous of the boy? Not only did he live with the Avengers- who were basically his family- but he also lived in the huge Stark Tower, and was really rich.

One of two things that the public didn't know, however, was that Peter was also heir to the Stark Empire.

Tony and Pepper had come home last year from the doctors with test results showing infertility. Tony had locked himself in his lab for weeks, not coming out to even eat. JARVIS finally let them in when he passed out from hunger. The idiot had to be hospitalized, and all while Pepper needed consoling. The woman had been inconsolable for a few days, but had gotten over it surprisingly fast. That's Pepper for you. When Tony had finally been discharged, he'd written into his will that Peter was the sole heir to Stark industries as agreed to by Pepper.

The second thing the public would- hopefully- never find out about was Peter's abilities.

"I know it's tough, Bud, and I'm sorry. But you know they're just jealous, right? Sooner or later, you'll meet some great new kids who'll want to be your friend. Then, you can bring them over whenever you like, k?"

Peter sighed and nodded glumly.

"Ugh, bed. Now. I'm out. Peter, puberty isn't really that bad. Don't worry about it. It works itself out in the end, and soon, you won't even notice it, k?" Tony stared Peter down as he walked backwards out the door, before turning and walking out.

Come on, Peter. Let's get to bed, too. You have school in a few hours and you need your beauty sleep," Bruce ruffled his boy's hair, grinning as the boy struggled to get away, giggling.

Bruce watched as Peter ran to his room, checked, then yelled back, "Looks like Tony took care of… it. G'night, Dad!" the boy disappeared into his room as the door closed and the lights turned out.

Bruce shook his head, smiling. Life in Avengers Tower would never get old, and never stop surprising, that's for sure.


	4. Project Araneae

**Why Do You Care? pt. 1**

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><p>Peter stood upon the balcony of Avengers Mansion. His family had just gotten back from a mission that had required the Hulk to attend.<p>

Usually when they got back from a mission, Peter would be waiting in the hangar, giggling as the turbines of the quinjet blew his hair back and nearly knocked him over. They didn't anymore, of course, because Peter was a big boy now. He was nearly 9, and a little wind couldn't push **him** over.

Today was different; Peter had been thinking- a lot. Early that morning, he had finally rewired JARVIS to let him play in the attic. JARVIS had warned that any attempts to tamper would most likely send alerts to Uncle Tony, but Peter was sure he had been careful enough not to get caught. When he finally climbed up there, he found a treasure trove of everything a little boy- genius or not- could dream of.

The attic was the same square width of the house's floor plan, but there weren't any walls to separate the space, making it a warehouse of sorts. Looking around, Peter could spot everything from unfinished projects and experiments of Uncle Tony's and his Dad's to blown up stuff to 'glories of battle' as Uncle Thor might say- mounted monster and robot heads, or freeze-rays and other assortments of weapons, actual gold and jewels and pirate's booty type things, all of which took up a lot of space.

Peter oohed and awwed over the collection, and spent at least two hours going over the specs of a killer robot ice cream truck, until he came across a filing cabinet and shelf full of old books and papers. An oddity, since Uncle Tony had 'gone green' years ago- more out of his hatred for paperwork than helping the environment. Peter looked over the shelves, reading many leather bound books with titles like 'Kar Kregnikh Fyghom', 'Spells for Dummies', 'Dr. Doom's Autobiography', 'The Tales of Tiung Tse and Lse Ihes'. The last one had a glass box around it and a sticker stating that opening the book would lead to immediate death, or being sucked into a wormhole to another dimension. Interesting.

The shelf above this one had what looked to be photo albums on it. Peter saw dates leading back to 2000 and leading up to, and past, the year he was adopted by his Dad and the Avengers.

This was unexpected; Peter took down the book with his birthday year on it- because that'd be the best place to start obviously- and opened up to find the first picture of his Dad, Bruce Banner, and Richard Parker, his biological father, shaking hands over a placard on a case of vials that was titled 'Araneae'.

"Spider," Peter translated aloud.

Puzzled as to why his Dad would have anything to do with a project involving his abusive, biological father, especially when it had to do with spiders, Peter put the book back and reached for the previous year to see what had happened leading up to that.

What Peter found was... heartbreaking. And horrifying.

His Dad had been part of the program that gave him his spider powers- after tortuous experimentation, that is.

His Dad was one of the monsters to hurt him. His Dad, the man he'd always trusted, was a monster.

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><p><strong>part 1. Don't worry, all will be revealed... relatively soon... review to receive more updates! This is a gave and take relationship people! I can't be the only one working for it... jk. LOVE YOU ALL!<strong>


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